Deception is to winning wars as wars are to securing peace. Thus, does deception lead to peace? Even though war and peace don’t exist simultaneously, they rely on each other for the other’s existence. So to what degree should we use deception to establish peace when we’re at odds with another? The answer lies in the degree we wish to establish calm for the purpose of peace, versus self-exultation, self-efficacy, or some form of selfishness.

There are times we feel deceived due to someone not abiding by their commitment to us, or when we deceive ourselves because we refuse to accept the reality of what is, or what’s coming; in the latter, we do so to create the peace within us that’s required to deal with a pending situation. In the former, we do so because of the naiveté we possessed that allowed us to be duped.

Regardless of the meaning you give a situation, understand the source of motivation that led you to such actions. Take note of how you felt as you entered into a situation, what occurred during and while you were engaged in it, and its outcome. By making note of such milestones, you’ll be creating historical markers from which to compare and adjust your future actions. You’ll be more aware of the cloak in which deceit might disguise itself and you’ll have new tools to uncover and combat it.

When your world is filled with war accept it for what it is, knowing that peace will surely follow. If you have the fortitude, you can survive almost anything. Don’t let a setback prevent you from experiencing the setup for a comeback.

What does this have to do with negotiations?

In negotiations, deceit is an integral part of the negotiation. You may give the appearance of feigning left when your intent is to move right, ask for more than you need in hopes of getting what you really want, etc. In reality, everyone’s negotiation strategy contain aspects of deceit. So, don’t get upset with the opposing negotiator because you feel he’s deceived you. Instead, plan for the inevitable, which means accounting for some form of deceit, in his efforts to maximize his outcome. After all, you’re doing the exact same thing, attempting to maximize your negotiation efforts and outcome. Account for this in your negotiations and you won’t be distraught when it occurs. In so doing you’ll be better prepared mentally to negotiate… and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!