Seven Thoughts to Contemplate Before Negotiating With Perceived Adversaries

Do you fret when negotiating with adversaries? Do you find negotiating from an adversarial position difficult? Whether you’re dealing with debt negotiation, contract negotiation, salary negotiation, or going through negotiation training, dealing with negotiators you view as adversaries can be difficult, because they’ll more than likely be more challenging to deal with. To enhance your negotiation skills, consider the following thoughts:

1. How will the other negotiator react if you treat him as an adversary?

2. What will it mean to the negotiation process, if you address the other negotiator as an adversary?

3. Is it better to cast the other negotiator in a more positive light? If so, what are the benefits and disadvantages?

4. What other resources will you have to utilize to solicit the other negotiator’s cooperation, if you identify him as an adversary? Depending upon the circumstances, will you be able to reach the needed resources in a timely manner?

5. You’ll be less likely to receive bipartisanship when treating someone as an adversary. Therefore, the level of cooperation you engender throughout the negotiation may be fragile. This will make the negotiation tedious, cumbersome, and exhausting. Will the effort be worth the cost?

6. Do you have someone on your negotiation team that can play the role of ‘good cop’ (someone that portrays empathy for the adversary’s position), if you choose the role of ‘bad cop’?

7. What might the consequences be of backing the other negotiator into a corner, when identifying him as an adversary?

Additional thoughts to consider, regardless to whether the other negotiator is friend or foe:

1. How can you use incentives to motivate the other negotiator? As an example, if he is motivated by fear, can you employ tactics that make him afraid not to accept the position you offer? Once you apply the burden of fear upon him, can you offer a way to have that burden lifted, by allowing him to move towards a position that’s less threatening?

2. Consider the other negotiator’s geographical background and political structure in which he was reared. If he was raised in an environment, in which people subjugated themselves to authority, would it be beneficial to adopt a position of authority to observe the manner in which he reacts?

Regardless, of how you position the other negotiator throughout the negotiation, seek pressure points upon which you can offer incentives for him to move in the direction of your choosing. If you treat him like an adversary, give him viable options from which to escape your ire. Leave him with a sliver of hope by which he has something of perceived value to cling… and everything will be right with the world.

The Negotiation Tips Are…

· Some people are appalled by being viewed as someone that’s difficult to deal with. If you project the adversary title on them, they will attempt to exempt themselves from such a position by being amenable to the direction you set. Be aware of their desire and utilize this tactic where and when appropriate.

· Always assess someone’s source of motivation when negotiating. If they are ‘risk adverse’, motivate that person by adding or subtracting risk, depending upon the direction you’re attempting to move them.

· When deeming a negotiator as an adversary, consider the resources you may need at your disposal to solicit support to motivate that person. If the additional resources are not readily available, you may want to weigh the strategy against one that is better suited for the goal you’re striving to achieve.

Learn How to Negotiate and Save Thousands of Dollars

If you can learn how to negotiate effectively, you could potentially save thousands of dollars for your business. There are many negotiation techniques that you can use and many of these are very effective. Here are a few tips that can help you learn how to negotiate effectively.

One of the most important tips that you can keep in mind is that you need to open the negotiations by asking for more than you plan on getting. For example, even if you are willing to pay more money, ask for a price that is much lower than that. This gives you some leeway to negotiate and lets you understand the difference between what you need to achieve and what the seller needs to achieve. Start as low as possible and work your way back up from there. More times than not, this will get you a better deal.

If there is something that is holding up the deal, do not be afraid to ask the other party a question to clarify the importance of the aspect that is holding things up. Many people are afraid to ask for anything during negotiations. You need to keep in mind that you are negotiating to save yourself a lot of money and you should not be hesitant to do so. Otherwise, you might end up leaving a lot of money on the table during the process.

If you make an offer, you should get in the habit of waiting until the other person talks before speaking again. After an offer is made, you should be completely silent until the other person says something. Many people do not like the awkward silence that sometimes occurs during negotiations. Because of this, they try to fill the awkward silence by speaking and end up talking themselves into a different offer than what they originally said. After you make an offer, let the other person respond before doing anything. Otherwise, you might end up making a big mistake.

Throughout the process, you should try to remain calm and level headed. Many people let their emotions get the best of them and it ends up making the negotiation process more difficult for them than it needs to be. If you are too emotional in a negotiation situation, you may end up losing out in the negotiation process.

Before you go into the negotiation process, you should also outline some objectives for yourself. By sticking to a plan, you will be more likely to be successful during the process. You need to keep in mind exactly what you are after so that you can check back that you are achieving your objectives during the negotiation process.

Even though you are trying to be successful in the negotiations, you do not want to leave the other person feeling like you have taken advantage of them. You may want to concede something along the way so that they feel like they have won something in the negotiations. Knowing your objectives will help you to know what aspects of the negotiation are less important to you and that you could be willing to concede, if necessary.

Overall, if you can learn how to negotiate effectively, it can make a big difference in the success of your business and you will definitely be able to save yourself money.

Overcoming Fear When Doing A Presentation

While fear pervades many aspects of business, presentations consistently drive it to exquisitely high levels. We use the term “presentation” to include any important one-on-one meeting, small group discussions around a table, or speaking before an audience of thousands.

We are talking about a particular kind of fear. Some fear helps motivate you to divert time from the pounding surf of your daily schedule and prepare for your presentation. There comes a point for most of us, however, when the fear is no longer useful. It has crossed the line from excitement to dread. Instead of driving preparation, it now impairs concentration and kills energy.

Fear has a thousand faces, but we have only three basic responses:

  1. Ignore it
  2. Evade it
  3. Transcend it

Ignoring Fear

Merely suffering through your fear is the simplest and most common response. It requires no learning, effort or practice. Negative consequences flow from this path. In addition to being very stressful, fear tends to break concentration during preparation and disturbs other obligations.

Perhaps even more importantly, these enervating fears can also have an extremely negative impact on your performance in delivering your presentation. Fear robs your ability to casually walk to the stage and be yourself. It tends to kill excitement and block the ability to connect deeply with your audience. Fear can make your body stiff, your breathing labored and your physical movement unnatural.

Evading Fear

Usually the first step in dealing with your fear of the big presentation is figuring out how to avoid the fear. Even if you are looking for a longer term solution, at least temporarily avoiding the problem is a key step in creating the space to fashion more encompassing approaches.

Transcending Fear

Creative visualization is the first step in removing yourself from the scary thoughts and consciously guiding your mind to a new space: actively imagining the desired end result.

Professional and Olympic athletes spend time imagining the desired end result and track the measurable increased performance that follows the creative visualization sessions. Fear stems from the unconscious repetitive thoughts and feelings about failing.


The key to successful visualizations is simultaneously feeling the emotions that would naturally attach to images that you see. To drive emotion, the most powerful vehicle is music – - music that stirs you. Often it is high energy music, something like the Rocky theme, hard driving rock, or passionate jazz or classical. The key is that it drives your energy higher, actively imagining the desired end result.

In visualization, there are two distinct ways to envision yourself: either looking at yourself from the position of an outside observer, or seeing the whole event through your own eyes. While everyone is different, it is usually easier to start by seeing an image of yourself from the perspective of an outside observer. As time goes by, many find it more effective to do the visualization through your eyes as a presenter.

Imagine the room in which you will present. If you know the room location, try and visit it before hand so you can create the exact setting of your presentation. If you can’t see a remote location, just imagine the kind of room it is likely to be.


Imagine what you will experience prior to the presentation. See yourself walking toward the spot from which you will present.

As you see yourself approaching “the moment of truth,” can you feel where in your body the tension resides?

As you continue walking to the front of the room, see if you can exchange the feelings of fear with a closely related feeling – excitement. Fear is often a part of excitement and their affect on the body is the same: pounding pulse, heavy breathing, a slight shake in the extremities.

Feel the empowering sense that this could be your break-through moment. This could be when you reach to a higher level than you ever thought possible.

Imagine yourself now in front of the audience facing them, looking calmly and intently into their faces. Take a big breath and feel relaxation welling-up within you.

See their faces. Are they interested? Do they need something to enliven them? Take a moment for some “in-flow” of information before you begin the “out-flow” of information.